Celebrities: They're just like normal people, except $$$$$. Also, more Twitter followers.

So I was watching the Oscars on Sunday night (and loving every minute of it, in case you don't follow me on Twitter) when I realized that I could see myself being friends with 99% of the people that I was watching on TV. Maybe it's because I just love loving people, but everyone seemed like they were just having so much fun, you know? I want to be part of that! I want to get dressed up and throw on a million dollars worth of Lorraine Schwartz jewelry and eat pizza. That is literally my dream life.

And I mean, it could happen, right? Besides appearing in multimillion dollar films and living in really fancy houses, celebrities really aren't that different from us. Really.

Reason #1: They take selfies. If you didn't crack up when you saw Ellen get that whole A-List crew together for a selfie, you're a lying liar who lies. I've told you already I love a good selfie, but this just takes the cake. And it wasn't the only one - there were a ton of selfies on Sunday night. And they were all awesome.

Reason #2: They send group texts. You know you send group texts. Welllll guess what? Aziz Ansari does too? And while ours are about mundane stuff like where we're going to dinner, other people's are about the improv they're doing on their wildly successful sitcom.

http://azizisbored.tumblr.com/post/47159326421

Reason #3: They curse when they're surprised. Did anyone see Lupita Nyong'o drop an S bomb after she won on Sunday night? Hilarious. And everyone saw it. Everyone.

Reason #4: Okay, they just curse. 

Reason #5: They trip. And fall. We've all been there. You're super dressed up, going to a fancy party, and you trip. But it isn't just a teeny little fall, it's an epic fall in front of a whole room full of people, and EVERYONE saw you. In our case, it's just a room full of (hopefully) friends. But when you're Jennifer Lawrence, it's in a room full of 3000 people, plus the ten million or so watching at home. Either way, we've all felt that embarrassment.

Reason #6: PIZZAAAAAA. I have never felt more connected to a group of people I've never met, and I probably never will again. Sometimes, you just need pizza.

So really, there isn't that much of a difference between me and Ellen. Besides her impeccable comedic timing. And our bank accounts might differ slightly. And I've never broken Twitter. But seriously, we're basically identical.