Behind Closed Doors: A Link Up!

So some really cute girls decided to put together a link up where you get down and dirty, and spill the beans about what you do when no one else is looking.

And since I love talking about things that you're really not supposed to be talking about, I think this is basically the best thing ever.

So let's rock and roll.


People ask me if I'm nervous to live with him in August, and I usually respond with "no, it's cool. I already know all the things he does that get on my nerves." We've been together for about a year and a half, but we only get to spend one or two weeks together a month, so it's a weird dichotomy of "duh we're comfortable" and "we still try to stay on our best behavior cause we don't see each other that often."

At this point, though, I have to say we've gotten pretty comfortable. Not poop-in-front-of-each-other comfortable yet. But definitely pop-zits and tweeze-your-eyebrows comfortable. We text each other while we're in the bathroom sometimes, just to check in and make sure everything's coming out okay.

Also, if we're just peeing, we usually don't flush the toilet. I mean, who cares, right? Save water and stuff. I never thought much about it, but one night we were hanging out with some of Garrett's family, and we both needed to pee. Before I went in, I asked if he was going in next. He said he was, so I said "cool, I won't flush, then" and everyone around us was just going onnnn and onnnn about how weird it was. I mean, really? Of all the things couples do around each other, peeing on their pee is the weirdest? Get out of here.

And he totally farts in front of me. Like it's no big deal. He's courteous enough to go to a different room so it doesn't stink, but I hear them all the time. One night, we were lying in bed and he kept tossing and turning like a crazyperson. Finally I asked him what was wrong, and he says "I gotta fart and I can't cause I don't want to fart in bed with you but I can't sleep if I gotta fart, OKAY?"

I shot him a look that said ".....seriously? seriously." But really, who am I to get in between a man and his bodily functions, ESPECIALLY when they affect his sleep pattern. So now Garrett gets to fart in the bed, as long as I'm already sleeping and he knows I won't smell it, and all bets are off if it stinks so bad it wakes me up.

Are you guys judging us yet? We're charming and hilarious, I swear.

(Don't worry, he told me I could tell this story.)

The moral of this story is: if you ever come visit, I can promise that there will be lots of fun, lots of drinks and lots of laughs. 

Just don't be alarmed if there's pee in the toilet.