Oh, Monday.

First of all, thanks for all of your sweet messages on Friday. I'm going to respond to each of your emails today, but you guys are the best.

It was QUITE a weekend. We committed to babysitting Garrett's niece and nephew for the whole weekend about a month ago, so when all this happened and we found out the visitation/funeral was going to be this weekend, I was pretty stressed. It was nice to have distractions, in the form of a three year old and a four year old, but trying to line up babysitters at the last minute for kids that aren't even mine was interesting, to say the least. Also, Garrett says we're never, ever having kids. We'll see about that.

Obviously, as the cool aunt, I let her paint her toenails by herself. She's not bad, I gotta say.

(Ignore that fingernail polish stain on her shirt.

The funeral yesterday was... hard. For everyone, but especially my youngest cousin. She's 12, and sassy, and wonderful. I always forget she's ONLY twelve years old - she always acts much, much older. She's fiercely independent (sassy and independent. you're getting why she and I have such a connection, right?, and usually doesn't need a lot of affection. But yesterday, she did. Yesterday, she didn't leave my side. It's the worst, most awful feeling, because I know there's nothing I can do to make her stop crying. 

It took me back to my grandmother's funeral three years ago. She didn't cry at all through the funeral, but after it was over and everyone was standing around talking, I saw her across the church. It was obvious she was looking for someone. Just as I started to call out to her to see who she was looking for, she saw me, and I realized that I was who she was looking for. She ran across the church, into my arms, and just lost it. I'll never, ever forget it.

Yesterday, I realized that she really is ONLY twelve years old. She needs extra love and hugs just like any other twelve year old would. And really, she needs me as much as I need her. I didn't mean for this post to be all sad, too. This whole thing has just been such a roller coaster. I'm still processing it all.

Let's end on an alpaca that we saw at the Science Center on Saturday so this post isn't too sentimental, okay?

And maybe a lemur? Yes?

Theeee coolest. Happy Monday, you guys!