Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Adulthood: It Can Happen To You

Well, it happened. I realized last weekend at brunch, between my third and fourth mimosas, that it finally happened.
.....I'm a real adult now.

Gross. 

Has the Adult bug bitten you, too? Here's how to find out:

You go to brunch... and you enjoy it. Bottomless mimosas are just a perk, right?

You stay home... while your parents go out. Last Easter, Garrett and I went to the beach with my parents and my brother. When Saturday night rolled around, my brother went out with his friends, my parents went out with their friends (true story: they ended up at the same club. but that's a different post for a different day) and Garrett and I stayed home and drank beer on our balcony. 
(You get bonus Adulthood points if you've been the DD for your parents at least once)

You're required to bring foodthings to family functions. The first time my aunt texted me and asked what I was bringing to Thanksgiving  I said "I dunno, ask mom" and she goes "Your mom is bringing ___ and ___, so we need you to bring ______" Wait, what? Me? Go shopping in advance and plan a meal for a group of people? Uhhhhhhh.

You've signed important hospital paperwork at least once. When my mom was having one of her surgeries in 2011, my dad and I were sitting in the waiting room when a nurse came out and handed us discharge paperwork to sign. One of the bullets said "The patient will be released into the care of a responsible adult." Uhhhhh, what? Sorry, none of those around here.
Baby bro saves the day (again)! 

You've been the chaperone. Wait, you're putting your thirteen year olds in my care? Really? Have you met me? I laugh at the same things your thirteen year old does. 

You know that sometimes, you just have to bite your tongue. I hate to tell you guys this, but I'm a loudmouth. I have a REALLY hard time keeping my mouth shut. But I KNOW that part of being an adult is biting your tongue and just letting it slide. It sucks (boy, does it suck) but it's what you gotta do.

You enjoy having a clean house. You know you like having a clean house. You can say you don't, but you and I both know that you're lying.

You've been to a baby shower... for a baby that was planned. I will not even get into the identity 
crisis that I had the first time I bought a shower gift for a good friend who was having a baby that was very much wanted and planned. It was insane. (And happy and all that.) I've had a hard time switching from "oh my God, what are you going to do?!" to "oh my God, CONGRATULATIONS!!" It's weird, man. Too weird.

You find yourself relating to this gif more than ever before:

And probably this one, too:

If you find yourself nodding along to these points, I hate to break it to you... but you might just be an Adult. Consult your doctor for further information.

But it's okay! Because adults get to drink beer and eat cereal in their underwear at 2pm and stay up as late as they want. It's actually a pretty sweet gig. 

Check back next week for the sequel "How I know I am not even CLOSE to being an adult."

14 comments:

Vegan Mama Eco Baby said...

I have a kid, so I'm definitely there BUT I realized that I was there when we started preferring 11am sans "youths" movies on sundays to saturday night movies. Adulthood -has its moments.

Lauren said...

I can't not pronounce "youths" like Schmidt.

I love staying in. And as the youngest person in my office, my coworkers constantly encourage me to bite my tongue. I guess sassy isn't as cute when you're close to 30.

Yammering Yankee said...

I loved everything about this post!! Especially the clean house one I donno how I went from a dirty college kid to an ocd adult :(

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

I am teetotally an adult. I truly realized it this year when MFD had an accident and I was looking around like when are the adults coming? Wait, I am the wife. I am the adult. I sign these things and make these decisions.

Candice @ Just Stay Lovely said...

oh god.... I am an adult?


Time to go drink my head off now.

Jay T said...

Hahahahaha I relate to all of this!! In the evenings I always tell my parents, "soooooo are you guys going anywhere so I can be home alone?" AND I'm planning my sister's baby shower and I'm just like, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN. And that New Girl gif is perfection!

Laura @ Chaotic Domestic said...

You just turn around one day and it happened! haha. I loved the gif from New Girl!

brooke lyn said...

ugh. being an adult is the worst. cell phone bills, medical bills, rent bills. make it stop... and the youth the youth that are no longer youth because they are having a baby that was planned!!!!

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I remember the day I realised I was an adult it was 18th September 1985. 8 days after my first born was born and my first day home with her and she would not stop crying and I didn't know what to do and had to ring my mummy to help me........but I also remember thinking this is what being grown up is like......I don't want to be a grown up........lol

Leslie said...

Ughhhh being an adult is lame! I completely agree with the New Girl gif. Love it. I also was told a couple years ago, that I no longer get my own gifts from all the family members anymore, I have to participate in the secret santa game and only get one :( That was depressing.

Hannah Coe said...

Haha I love this! But it does make me realise that maybe I'm becoming an adult way too soon :(

Just to let you know I've nominated you for a Liebster Award so hope you complete it, your blog is so uplifting :)

Hannah xx Squidoodles & oodles

Another Clean Slate said...

Nothing wrong with brunch... everything else can hit the road!

Justynn Yagiela said...

oh gosh. laughing my ass off. thank you!

JMc said...

I can totally relate to the Thanksgiving text. Except my "what are you bringing" came from my YOUNGER cousin who then told me what I needed to bring to help complete the meal....and it wasn't just ice or cups, ugh.

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