Our favorite ladies are back!

Courtesy of BravoTV.com

It's that time again - the New Jersey Housewives are back, and I am PUMPED.

(lol GET IT? New Jersey? Fist pumps? Okay, anyway.)

So let's recap: the last time we saw the ladies at the reunion, things were no good. Teresa was still acting like a petulant two year old (yo girl, when your nine year old daughter is more mature than you, it's time to take a step back, ya dig?) and hurling insults at anyone she could. Jacqueline had revealed that her son had been recently diagnosed with autism and had lost his ability to speak, Kathy was looking to start her own catering company, and Caroline and Dina were no longer speaking.

As far as Teresa and Melissa's relationship goes, it looked like things had started to look up towards the end of season four, but at the season four reunion, we saw that that definitely wasn't the case.

This season will be interesting, because a lot of it is happening almost two years after the events we saw in season three and season four. The season three reunion show, that Jacqueline was so famously absent from, occurred the day after the Posche Fashion Show where Teresa set up the whole stripper situation with that dudebro Angelo.

The season is starting off with coverage of Hurricane Sandy, which I think is interesting because these women live lives that most of us only dream of, but they're prone to the elements just like we are. Is featuring Hurricane Sandy and their efforts to rebuild their lives a nod to the fact that this season will feature the ladies trying to rebuild their relationships? I think it might be.

I'll tell you guys: Teresa is far and away my least favorite housewife. She always has been. To me, it always felt like she was trying to force the appearance of wealth onto the viewers - always making a point to spend large amounts of cash on furniture and her daughters, and saying things like "we can afford to have another baby, so why not?" (We know now that their in vitro treatments were part of the debt that they owed, so you know, they couldn't REALLY afford another baby. But that's irrelevant.) However, from the things that we've been seeing and reading about season five, it looks like she's finally realizing that this belligerent, stubborn, immature attitude is pushing everyone away, and she's working to make amends. Hopefully she and Melissa can finally turn over a new leaf.

There will be more "friends of the housewives" too, but these ladies might cause more trouble than the Housewives themselves: Kim DePaola, Jennifer Dalton, and Penny Drossos. I'll tell you guys: I absolutely HATE Kim D. I don't think she adds anything but drama, and the ladies have enough of that as it is. I don't know much about Jennifer Dalton, other than the fact that she's Teresa's friend, so that could really go either way. The other "friend" is Penny Drossos. I don't know much about her, but she's married to John Karagiorgis, who has filed assault charges against Jacqueline, Chris and Joe Gorga after a fight at -you guessed it- the Posche Fashion Show. Allegedly, he's been harassing the women for several years, so seeing that dynamic play out this season will be interesting to say the least.

And don't worry, all of our favorite Real Kids of New Jersey will be back, too. Lauren is running her store Cafface, Ashley Ashlee and her new nose will be visiting from LA, and it looks like Milania Giudice of "Gimme pizza, you old troll" fame has learned some new dance moves. Because of course she has. Sadly, though, Greg won't be back, as he moved to San Francisco. I won't lie, this news made me question whether or not I even wanted to watch this season. I mean really. Greg is the best.

So I wanna know: Who's your favorite New Jersey housewife? What are you most excited for this season? Do you think the ladies (all of them) will redeem themselves? Do you think Teresa and Melissa  will finally bury the hatchet? Are you judging me yet for being this invested in reality television?

Trashiest TV in the Land

It's no secret that I love some truly, truly awful TV shows. Just awful. And I'm not even a little bit sorry about it.

So obviously, I tuned into the premiere of What Would Ryan Lochte Do? on E!

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Look at this beautiful, beautiful idiot. Just look at him. So beautiful. And so, so dumb.

I wish I had been taking a shot every time this boy clearly just got lost in his own brain. I mean, it is truly intriguing. (I'm going to create a drinking game. I AM! It's going to be next week's post.)

He's a SHOE DESIGNER! Did you guys know this? I didn't. But I'm so glad that I do now. I did some research to see if you could buy his shoes online but couldn't find anything. Trust me though, if I find an online store somewhere, you guys will be the first to know!

I don't know what I was expecting, but I was surprised to see how much air time his family got. The relationship that he has with his brother (who he also lives with) is absolutely precious. Maybe it's because I love my own brother so much, so I love watching other people interacting with theirs, but man, it is just too adorable.

He's kind of a dummy, but I'd be lying if it wasn't a little endearing. I mean, I surely wouldn't want to marry him. But to be a 28 year old guy who was thrown into an international spotlight recently, he and his family seem, on the whole, pretty freakin' normal.

Did you guys watch? What did you think? Would you let Ryan Lochte take you on a date to a sushi place? I probably would. I mean, if I wasn't already getting married, of course. I just... really like sushi.

Now, changing gears a little bit - I've mentioned briefly on here that I love Teen Mom. I love it. I can't get enough. I tuned in to Farrah's Dr Phil episode and watched every second on the edge of my seat. This home movie (ahem) situation that she has going on right now with James Deen is beyond entertaining to me. She did something shady, and she got caught. But instead of owning up to it, she's lying and complaining and being totally awful about it. That girl is eight different levels of delusional, and I think it is hysterical.

PSA: Did you miss Farrah on Dr Phil on Friday? You can watch it here! The quality isn't great, but it's better than nothing and I promise you won't regret it.

But something happened this week on Teen Mom 2, and I'd be lying if I said it hasn't been bothering me this week.

MTV has been criticized before for filming things instead of interfering. They took a lot of heat for filming Amber Portwood hit her boyfriend in the head, and then airing it to teenagers. My issue isn't necessarily with the abuse - obviously it's horrid, but I would never recommend someone get in the middle of a domestic dispute. You could just make it worse. What bothers me more is that not one person on the film crew tried to remove Leah from the situation. They didn't have to take her out of the house, just pick her up and move her to a different room so she didn't watch her mother hit her father.

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Anyway, that's kind of a tangent. Monday, we saw Keiffer try to score some dope for Jenelle. Apparently, her depression was starting to get the better of her, so Keiffer offered to go get her some dope with the last $70 that they had. He actually said the word "dope." On TV. And MTV decided to air it.

Now, I love reality tv shows. But there's a line. And I feel like it keeps getting crossed. Why doesn't MTV just stop filming her? It's doing her way more harm than good, and I'm sure I'm not the only viewer who's just kind of uncomfortable watching her now. Stop filming her, let her fall out of the spotlight, and then maybe she can REALLY get the help she needs instead of getting arrested for heroine like she did this week. Yikes.

Who else watches Teen Mom around here? What do you guys think about these awful, entertaining, completely delusional women?

A Confession: I LOVE Reality TV.

I love it. I get sucked into it all the time. I love watching The Biggest Loser. I'll always stop on any of the Real Housewives. (except Miami because no. Does anyone hate the Miami housewives as much as me?) I think Garrett questions our relationship every time he walks in and Rachel Zoe is talking about how "maje" something is.

So obviously, when I started seeing the previews for Ready for Love on NBC, I was kind of intrigued. I mean, it really did look different. Getting matchmakers involved? I could be into that.

So obviously, I watched.

And I'm not even lying, I'm kind of obsessed with it.

First of all, I had no idea Guiliana and Bill were hosting. They're one of my favorite celebrity couples. So that was a nice surprise.

Last night, we met Tim Lopez, who's in the Plain White T's. Tim is stinkin' adorable. As it turns out, he was married before, but the distance and pressures of being a *rock star* were just too much.

Each matchmaker chose four girls for Tim to meet. Tim talks to each girl (without seeing her face) and eliminates one from each group. Those girls go back to the house where he "gets to know" them. In this case, each group writes a verse to one of Tim's songs, and then they sing it together.

Afterwards, the girls meet back on stage, where the matchmakers coach them. I think this adds an interesting twist that you don't get on other shows. I'm not so naive to think that the producers and casting agents don't guide some of the things that the matchmakers say, but it's still interesting to see their suggestions, as opposed to a producer who is just looking for ratings.

Now. This show is definitely has its issues. The thing that stood out to me more than anything is when one of the matchmakers said "don't be yourself! be sexy!" I mean... really? Really. For a show that claims to "empower" its female contestants, that's an... interesting thing to say.

And towards the beginning of the show, Guilana says that Tim will talk to each girl without being able to see her, because people tend to choose people based on how they look, and we should get away from that, right? Sure. But all twelve of these ladies are absolutely gorgeous. I'm not saying that all your problems go away when you're beautiful, because they don't, but talk to me when you're putting women on this show (and others) that don't have that stereotypical beauty. Know what I'm saying?

All in all, I'm still going to watch it. I was just looking for something to fill the Bachelor-shaped void in my life, and this might be just the thing.

Spoilery thing: I'm super glad he sent Leah home. She gave me a creepy crazy kind of vibe. 

Did anyone else watch, or am I totally alone here? (It wouldn't be the first time, that's for sure.)