No experts here!

Clearly, there's been a lot of talk recently about how much we hate Martha Stewart now because she doesn't think bloggers are"experts." I'll agree that her delivery wasn't the best, but I just can't bring myself to get angry at what she said. First of all, because it's true. Second of all, this woman is 72 years old. Are you really surprised that she doesn't "get" blogging?

I know you love your blog (and I love mine.... a lot.), but having a blog does not make you an expert. Sure, there are always the exceptions (Pioneer Woman is the one I see the most), but that's what they are: exceptions. Anyone can make a blog and spew whatever they want. That doesn't mean they're awesome or smart or noteworthy. It means they know how to type. (And sometimes they can't even handle that.)

I have a love-hate relationship with blogging sometimes. You can put anything on the internet. ANYTHING. It doesn't matter if it's wrong or it hasn't been well researched. You can put it out there to for other people to read and more importantly, believe. And they do. It's a lot of power, and there are always people who do not handle it well.

Let's stop being mad, okay? She started this whole lifestyle movement a long time ago, and had an empire way before you or I even considered starting a blog. She's going to keep trucking along just like she has been, and so should you and I. If you want to prove her wrong, do it by putting out really great, thoughtful, well-written content. THAT'S how you make someone take you seriously, not by threatening to boycott their products. (And seriously, if you're boycotting her craft paint, you're not hurting anyone but yourself. Seriously, it is the best.)

Long story short, I'm decidedly not a bloggerexpert. I'm not sure I'd want to be... lots of pressure there. I'll just stick to these things that I'm TOTALLY an expert at:

Internet Stalking Investigating. I will not tell you the lengths I've gone to to find information about people I don't know (because it's super embarrassing) but just know: I pretty much always find what I'm looking for.

Ignoring text messages. Seriously, I am the worst. I forget to respond to them allthetime. If we text and you don't hear from me for three hours days, don't take it personally. It's not you, it's me.

Procrastinating. I'll elaborate on this later.

Curling my hair with my curl wand. I bought this curl wand last year after Christmas, and almost a year later, I'm still OBSESSED with it. It makes my hair do things that I never thought it was capable of. See here, here and here.

Finishing a whole bottle of wine in one sitting. Do I really need to elaborate here?

Promptly removing the recycling so it doesn't look I downed a whole bottle of wine in one sitting. Whatever. Don't judge me. You don't know my life.

Looking put together in a pair of J Crew Pixie Pants. I'm not saying I look super fabulous all the time, but every time I get a compliment on my outfit when I'm wearing Pixie Pants (or as I affectionately call them: "fancy sweatpants") an angel gets her wings.

NotAnExpertAlyssa, over and out.

On Unfollowing.

There's been a good bit of... um.... political talk lately, right? For the most part, the commentary has remained civil, which is how it should be, because we are all lovely, intelligent ladies in this community, and we all know that there is no need for name calling.

(And to those of you that have resorted to name calling though this process, thanks. It's made it really easy to figure out who I would never, ever be friends with.)

Everyone says they don't care about followers, but most of us care at least a little bit, right? I mean, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's exciting to know that there are people actually reading your blog. Real live people who don't HAVE to read your blog - they read it because they CHOOSE to. That's pretty cool! I'm humbled all the time that 300ish people read this blog. because it's about 298 more than I ever thought would want to read.

Some people get offended when people unfollow them. I don't (...usually). The best thing about reading blogs is that you're free to fill your Reader with blogs you love... blogs that talk about things that you want to read about. You're in charge of your own Blogland Experience (TM). No one else is.

I think it's totally your right to unfollow anyone you choose. For some people, their blogging time is their time to blow off steam, so they don't want to follow anyone who posts too many serious things, or too many political things. They want to keep it lighthearted and entertaining. Others use their blogs as a means to keep up with current events. Everyone's expectations are different. so naturally, the types of blogs they want to read are different too.

There are a few things that will make me unfollow someone:
1) People who make cracks about poor people all the time. You are insensitive and uneducated.
2) Or undocumented citizens. If you call someone an "illegal" and/or complain about how hard your life is because your taxes go to pay for things for said "illegals", you're out.
3) If you can't use the proper names for things. If you write a sponsored post about tampons, but you can't bring yourself to use the word "period" or "vagina," you should probably reevaluate what you're doing. Also, grow up. Also, it's not shameful to have a vagina. Stop acting like it is.
4) Speaking of sponsored posts: stop doing them for things that aren't applicable to your life. If you're not a mom, don't review pacifiers. If you're not in college, a post about renting your textbooks probably isn't going to work. I know you like the money that comes from a sponsored post (who doesn't, right?), but please don't sell out like that. It makes you seem untrustworthy to your readers.
5) If you're constantly fishing for attention. I won't lie and say I don't like attention. I think we all do, which is why we... have blogs. Right? But if you're constantly posting about how "awful" you look just so people can shower you with compliments, you're taking it way too far. Or "I have a secret, email/call/text/tweet me if you want to know what it is." lol WHAT? I already told you what I think about vagueblogging. Stop that right now.

There are other things that don't bother me that I know bother others... I don't care if you post a zillion pictures of your kids, or talk too much about your church or serving your husband. While all of those things are so different from anything in my life right now, I understand that's YOUR life, and I totally respect that. One of the things I really love about blogging is that it gives me a glimpse into the lives of people whose paths I would NEVER have crossed otherwise. That's pretty freakin' cool.

The moral of the story here is: don't get upset if you lose a few followers along the way. It's all a part of the process. It's not you, it's them. Unless you're doing one of the things I talked about above. In that case, it probably is you.

And if I see anyone else calling someone "ignorant" for their opposing views and getting into a comment war instead of, you know, just unfollowing them, well. I only have one word for you:

Six Things I Wish Bloggers Would Stop Doing

Do you have those blogging pet peeves? I do. Well, I guess you could call them pet peeves.

I love blogging, and the people that I meet, but some of the people in this community have some of THE most annoying habits. 

Hiding every post under a 'Read More' or only having one blog post per page.
This probably bothers me more than it should, but I just hate it. It makes me feel like you're only concerned with page views, and not worried at all about generating good content. It also makes me feel like I have to add a Read More to all my posts so I can stay in the game. I don't WANT to do it that way, but can my blog compare with others, when I know everyone else is doing it that way? I know we all want page views, but that just seems like an unfair way to do it.

Vague Blogging
If you have something you want to talk about on your blog, just freakin' talk about it. If it's something you shouldn't put on the internet, don't. Don't post little hints about what's going on under the guise of "I wish I could talk about what's going on" because you and I both know you're just looking to illicit curiosity and/or sympathy. Knock it off.

Consistently bashing others for drinking
We can't go more than a few days without someone saying "I hate bloggers who only post about drinking. It's not classy/grownup/sophisticated/acceptable/whatever." Garrett and I drink... a lot. Especially now that it's football season. Does that make us less "adult?" I don't think so. While I choose not to post pictures of myself drinking all the time, I don't have any beef with people that do. Who cares? We're young. It's what happens. You can sit there with your glass of rosé, judging people for drinking "too much", but at the end of the day, they're probably having more fun than you. So who's really winning here?

Apologizing every time you don't post for three days
I'm guilty of this one too. But it's so unnecessary. No one is going to be mad at you for.... living your life. Okay?

Failing to disclose sponsored posts
I thought this was pretty straight forward, but I still see it allthetime. Reminder: you are legally obligated to disclose any sponsored post at the BEGINNING of the post. Throwing a "This post was sponsored by Target" at the bottom of the post is not enough. It just makes you look untrustworthy and shady. And if your readers can't trust you, why even have a blog?

Posting twenty pictures of the same thing
Sorry, but I think that shirt doesn't look any different with your hands on your hip than it did with your hands behind your back. We get it. Also, SMILE. Geeze.

What about you? What do other bloggers do that annoy you? Do I do any of the things? You can tell me. I won't get mad. I promise.

She's not jealous, she really just doesn't like you.

Sooooo. I have a rant, of sorts.

As bloggers, we open ourselves up to criticism. I think most of us will agree that it's one of the scariest parts about being a blogger. I still haven't liked my blog page on my personal Facebook page because I don't want anyone I know in real life to see it. A little ridiculous? Maybe. But the criticism can be scurrrrrry.

And the GOOD thing about being a blogger is the majority of the time, people are so sweet and uplifting and wonderful. I've met some of the kindest, encouraging women since I started blogging.

But what happens when someone DOESN'T like you?

I've had a blog for four years now, so I've dealt with my share of criticism. I've been told I'm ugly, too opinionated, and that I post too much. I've been told that I'm just a rich bitch (lol.) and that I'm so optimistic because "my life is easy and I don't have any problems." (DOUBLE LOL.) And my favorite anonymous message ever was when someone told me that "my fiancé was probably glad he lived four hours away from me so he didn't have to deal with me every day because I am the worst." Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.

And I'm sure you've dealt with the same things, especially once your blog reaches a certain size. And it's hard to know what to do when someone criticizes you. Do you explain yourself further? Ignore it? Send a sarcastic comment back? There are times where each of those responses could be appropriate.

But let me tell you what you SHOULDN'T do:

Please, please please, for the love of all things holy, stop using this "you're just jealous!" thing.

Because let me tell you something you might not want to hear: some people aren't jealous of you, they really just don't like you.

I know, I know. I was as surprised as you are to learn this news.

It seems like every time someone reads a negative comment about themselves, their first reaction is to say something along the lines of "you're just jealous!" or "you're just a hater!"

Yep, you know me. Always sippin' the Haterade.

Like I've said before: there are 2.5 BILLION people that use the internet. Statistically speaking, there are DEFINITELY going to be people that don't like you. And that's okay! Really, it is. Because are you friends with every single person you've ever met? Of course not. Because there are always going to be people you don't "click" with. Get over it. Sometimes people don't like you, or they don't like what you write. And I know no one ever wants to think about this, but sometimes you might write something that really IS offensive. At that point, it's DEFINITELY safe to assume that it's not everyone else. It's you.

And REALLY, not to get into a feminist rant here, but when you say that another woman is just jealous of you, you're reducing ALL of us to dummies who can't think past some surface level bullshit. And I mean, come on. We're ALL better (and smarter) than that. So do all your girlfriends a favor and remove it from your vocabulary.

(I'm not even going to get into the people who respond to criticism with "you're probably just a fat loser with no friends who sits on her computer all day!" because shaming someone for their looks is WAY more mature and WAY better than whatever they said to you first. Except not at all.)

So to recap: everyone is NOT jealous. People don't like you sometimes. Get over it. Got it? Good.

Professional Blogger? Duh.

Last week, I was happily bopping around the internet, when I came across an article called "Hey Lifestyle Goddess, Get Off My Internets." You can read the full article here if you want, but it's just a pretty short article about Get Off My Internets, which is essentially the Burn Book of the Blogosphere. I've never really put much stock into GOMI. it's pissed a lot of people off, but I figure... everyone isn't going to like you all the time. According to The Cultureist, there are approximately 2.5 BILLION people that use the internet. The chances of at least one of those 2.5 billion people hating your guts is pretty high, right? Sooooo, you know. Get over it and stuff.

Anyway, this post wasn't even supposed to be about GOMI, or that article. It's supposed to be about a comment someone made in reference to us lifestyle bloggers. This comment, specifically:

"I mean, it's ludicrous that this is an industry. These are people keeping online diaries. The writing for the most part is atrocious and the attitude they throw around is hilarious. They. Are. Not. Celebrities except in their own circle and their own mind."

At first, I rolled my eyes. Then I giggled, because it's kind of true. I mean, what does it mean to be a celebrity... on the internet? You probably wouldn't put it on your resume (although I know one guy who does. and it REALLY makes me laugh.) even though it's something that you obviously spend a lot of time on. 

And then after the eye rolls and the giggles, I really started thinking. Blogging IS ridiculous. But I can't imagine my life without it. At all. And this is why:

1) It magnifies the good parts of my life and the things that I like about myself. I've discovered so many things about myself since I started blogging because I take the time to sit and write about them. Really revolutionary, I know.  

2) It also magnifies the crappy things and helps keep me accountable. There's nothing like self-reflection to give you a kick in the pants sometimes, right?

3) When you have a blog, you're never alone, ever. I wrote a whole post about why blog friends are the best kind of friends here, but really, they are tops. If I want someone to gchat with, or someone to watch the Real Housewives with, there's always someone on Twitter ready to gab with you. This is especially beneficial to those of us with boyfriends/husbands who just cannot POSSIBLY listen to another Real Housewives dinner party. 

4) It's a constant self esteem boost. Most of the bloggers I know are pretty down-to-earth women. It's why I love them. But we all love having our ego stroked sometimes, right? It feels pretty freakin' good to come home to ten new comments on your blog. You know it's true.

5) There are always people around to give you outfit/work/relationship advice. Bloggers are smart, yo. Listen to them. 

6) It helps you examine everything more critically. I notice so many more of the "little things" now that I have a blog. Content really is all around you, and once you start paying attention to it, you notice everythingggggggg.

7) Occasionally, it pays you. I got paid once to talk about nail polish. NAIL POLISH. Something I would have talked about anyway. It is the best thing ever.

8) Obviously, it's a journal you'll be able to look at in the future. At the very least, it'll give you a good laugh when you look back in ten years and see that your biggest problem one Tuesday was that your favorite waiter at your favorite sushi place quit mid-shift. Wait, that's only happened to me? Oh. Anyway, even though I wouldn't want anyone ELSE going through my blog archives, I'm glad I have them to look back on. And laugh at. 

So there you have it. Blogging is the most ridiculous, most time-consuming, most laughable thing that I do, and I wouldn't change a thing about it.

Check out one of the sweetest (literally! get it?) bloggers I know, Leslie!

How to Write a Blog Post, A Helpful Guide

Have you ever wondered what I looked like when I'm in blogger mode?

So, the last time I posted one of my helpful guides, you all seemed to really like it. I really think I changed a lot of relationships for the better that day. 

1) Decide you should actually get ahead of the game and write a post for tomorrow before, you know, it's actually tomorrow.

2) Announce to partner that you, The Blogger, are about to 

3) Check Twitter, just to see what everyone's doing.

4) Engage in a ridiculous conversation with your blog friends about the hot topic of the day.

5) Oh right, you were about to go write a post. 

6) Make sure you have established the Ideal Blogging Environment (TM). This includes: laptop, box of wine, blogging notebook, and iPhone to continue checking Twitter without leaving your blog post. Also recommended (though not entirely necessary) is a doting partner to refill your wine glass. You're busy being a Professional Blogger, after all. No time for breaks!

7) Open browser. What were you doing again? Oh, writing a blog post. That's right.

8) Realize that ummmmmm... you don't actually have anything to write about. Sit in shock for a few minutes, because your life is so interesting and all. Talking about it should be way easier.

9) Check blogging notebook. What are all these scribble lists? Were they written by an actual person? There's nothing to write about in here.

10) Oh snap, the wine's gone. Better get some more from the box.

11) The wine gets your creative juices flowing, so you finally decide on a topic.

12) Every blog post needs a good graphic, right? Open PicMonkey and go to town.

13) Realize another 30 minutes has passed, and all you have is a title and a beautifully edited picture taken by your incredibly patient fiance.

14) Have you checked Twitter lately? Better make sure you don't miss anything!!

15) Your wine glass is empty AGAIN? Fix that.

16) Pat yourself on the back for being such a great multi-tasker.

17) Oh right, you still haven't actually typed anything. Maybe you should try that now?

18) Hammer out a few paragraphs. Dang, girl. You are funny.

19) Realize that three rambly paragraphs is totally sufficient for now. Pour a glass of wine, sit back, and relax.

20) Pat yourself on the back because ZOMG, you're such a good blogger!

21) Wait until 9am the next morning and realize that you never finished that bomb.com post you started yesterday.

22) Scramble to finish it so it can get max exposure.

23) Curse your own procrastination.

24) Realize it should NOT take 25 steps to write one freakin' blog post.

25) Repeat. Everyday. Because you will just NEVER learn, will you? Seriously, self. Seriously.




Check out one of the sweetest (literally! get it?) bloggers I know, Leslie!

Lately...

I've been slacking on all blog-related responsibilities lately. I thought I was going to make it through the summer without falling off the wagon, but oh well. I mean, I did post on Sunday, but my Sunday posts are so easy and formulaic and don't require any thought, you know? Totally easy.

I didn't post anything yesterday because the last 36 hours have been a disaster of the most epic proportions. Everything is starting to straighten out now, but man, it's been rough around here. Any time i started to think about a blog post, I closed my computer in like... a minute.

Thanks to everyone who had kind words about my grandfather... things took a turn for the much worse, but have now taken a turn for much, much better. He has a spot on his brain (in addition to the cancer he already had) that was causing swelling around his brain, which was causing slurred speech and blurred vision and lots of nausea. Now that they know what it is and how to treat it, he'll be in a hospital-like treatment facility for the next few weeks. It's still hard, but things are getting better.

In other life-related updates, Garrett and I thought we found an apartment, but the only available unit in the complex we love has a bit of a smokey smell, and we're not too keen on it. So now our options are to 1) get a two bedroom in the same complex (two bedrooms would be great, but much more $$$) 2) wait until an acceptable 1 bedroom opens up (we have places to stay until we find an apt, but waiting? ugh.) or 3) finding a new apartment complex. We both really, really liked this place, but we're not sure how to proceed at this point. I'll obviously keep you posted.

Also, I found out last week that one of my best friends, Jenna, reads my blog! Yeah, that's right... real people have started to discover me here, and you know what? I'm still breathing, and the world is still standing. Imagine that, right? Cuh-raziness. Anyway, hi Jenna!!!!!! I know exactly what you were thinking when you were reading about the apartment smelling like smoke, and I'm totally with you.

I think that's all that's going on in these parts. I know I keep talking about how everything is changing right now, but man, it is just crazy.

On not being That Guy.

That guy. You all know who I'm talking about. The obnoxious one. The one who never shuts up. Thr one that spills beer on your shirt. The one that always leaves you plotting with your friends on how to skip out without people noticing.

The blogging world has That Guy, too. The one who ALWAYS has to make a comment. The one who has an opinion on EVERYTHING. The one who says "I hate it when bloggers ___" and then does those things. The one who always tries to play the sympathy card.

You're all nodding along with me, right? We've all met those bloggers. And we all agree that they're no fun.

So how do you avoid being That Guy? I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, and I've boiled it down to four easy steps. (Bonus: All of these rules apply in real life, too!)

1. Know how to say you're sorry.
   Look. We all say dumb stuff sometimes. We didn't mean for it to be offensive (or maybe you did. if you did, shame on you. be nicer. DON'T BE THAT GUY.) but it came across that way. Recognize when that happens. Be an adult, own it, apologize and move on. I've found that when someone says something jerk-ish, it quickly becomes less about the original statement and much more about how that person responded to criticism. So don't keep saying "yeah but what I SAID WASSSS" or "no that's not what I MEANT!" We all saw what you said, and it kinda sucked. But that's okay! Because we bloggers are a forgiving people. But you gotta keep it real.
   And none of this "I'm sorry everyone got offended" crap. That is not an apology. Be genuine and sincere, and more importantly: remember it in the future. We all want to help each other grow, right? A huge component of growth is messing up, fixing it, and learning from it.
2. Accept apologies and move on.
   This goes hand in hand with #1. If you felt like you were wronged by someone, and they apologized to you, forgive them and move on. Don't angry-tweet about them. Don't unfollow them on all the social networks out of spite. Don't shoot them down every time someone else likes them. If you don't jive with a person, fine. But don't punish them (and all of their other bloggy friends) forever. Just fuggedaboutit.
3. If you can't say something nice, just shut up already. (I may be paraphrasing.)
   You know, I kinda thought this went without saying, but apparently we need a refresher sometimes. Don't like the way someone always talks about her husband? Oh well. Think another blogger does too many giveaways? Don't read their blog. We get enough thrown at us in life without flinging extra poo at each other for no reason. So just knock it off, okay? We're better than that.
4. Get over it.
   I've been blogging for 3.5 years, and I've read things that I disagreed with so deeply that it shook my entire soul. But who cares? I could say something. But will it make their life better? No. Will it make me feel better? Doubtful. So just get over it already.
   To be fair, I've had some really great discussions with people over things we've disagreed on. Our conversations were respectful and enjoyable, and while we didn't change each others minds, we were able to see the view from the other side. And that's great.
   And at the end of the day, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. But just because you have that opinion doesn't mean you need to blab it all over the place, right? There are always going to be people you disagree with. And at that point, you know what you gotta do. You gotta just gotta get over it.

You got all that? Good.

Now: go forth into this great world... 

and don't be That Guy!

Nine Reasons Why Blogger Friends Are Better Than Real Life Friends

I was looking at the messages on my phone the other day, and all of a sudden it hit me: I might I talk to more blogger people than real life people. 

I mean, I've texted 16 different people since June 1st. Of those 16, 9 of them are people I've met on the internet. And our conversations aren't about internet-y things. I have totally normal friend conversations with them about dresses and iOS 7 and weekend plans. They're just as much "real" friends as my IRL friends are. Don't get me wrong, I have some truly incredible friends in my life, and I'm grateful for them every single day. But this post isn't about them.

I've been blogging for almost four years, so I've made my share of blog friends friends. (I've also met my share of wackadoos, but that's a different post for a different day.) But what is it about internet friendships that make them so awesome? I've been thinking about it, and this is what I've come up with:

1. There's always someone to gchat with. 

Bored at work? It is almost a guarantee that at least one of your blog friends will be around to entertain you. And if you think no one is on? A quick "who's on gchat?" tweet will bring all the bloggers to the yard. Boom, boredness cured in 2.5 seconds.

2. Their physical location doesn't matter, because your friendship started off far apart anyway. 

Unless you hit the bloggy BFF jackpot and met someone who lived where you live, you're used to having your blog friends scattered all over the country. Any one of my blog friends could call me tomorrow and be like "yo, I'm moving to Africa" and it wouln't change anything. I mean, it would make a meet-up harder down the road, but for a relationship that's been built on emails, texts and gchat? Piece of cake.

3. Because your blog friends are so far away, you know you have a place to crash pretty much anywhere in the country. 

Right now, I know I have places to stay in New York, Chicago, San Francisco, LA, Omaha, Hilton Head, Austin, and a smattering of other places. That's pretty freakin' cool.

4. You always have someone to bounce blog ideas off of. 

I can't tell you how many texts to Stevie have started off with "what do you think about ______?" Sometimes you have to get a second opinion about something, and since her brain is filled with just as many bloggy things as yours is, your blog friends are perfect people to talk to.

5. When you finally DO get to meet them, you don't have to worry about trying to hide all the weird things you do, because they do them all too. 

The first time I met my friend Laura in Richmond, when we got to the restaurant that night for dinner, the first thing we did was get the waiter to take a picture of us so we could blog about it. When we got our food, we each paused so we could tweet about how awesome our dinner was. It took thirty seconds, but since we were both doing it, the awkwardness that COULD have been there with a real friend is totally gone.

6. You can tell them anything. 

Got a juicy secret that you're DYING to talk about but you know you shouldn't? Tell your blog friends! They don't know anyone from your real life, so they don't care that your two coworkers are sleeping together, or that your two friends are in a fight. So gab away! Your secret is safe with them.

7. They're the reason you're good at thinking on your feet. 

Admit it: the first time someone looked at you and said "how did you meet her?" in regards to an internet friend, you panicked. What do you say to that, really? "This is my friend who I bonded with on the internet after she blogged about loving wine and leopard print shoes. Oh by the way, I blog. I'm a big deal on the internet." Uh, no thank you. Since you don't want to tell the truth, you've gotten really good at quick thinking. "Oh, her? Her cousin and I went to school together and we met at a party once when she was visiting." Boom. Crushed it.

8. The blogging community is the most amazingly supportive group of people ever.

This pretty much speaks for itself, right?

9. You know they'll always GET you.
Blogging is pretty weird, right? Unless you do it, you don't really understand it. It can be stressful and time consuming at times, and it's nice to be able to talk to people who are in the same boat that you're in. They understand where you're coming from when you tell them that you were up till 2am writing a blog post so it could go live in the morning. (They also love you enough to tell you when they think you need a break. Sometimes, we need that too.)

What do you love about your blog friends? Are you going to go give them a huge (virtual) hug right now? Yes? I thought so.

A request. Okay, two requests.

#1:
The Alyssa Said Hi Facebook Page is officially live!! I would LOVE it if you would go like it. It's lonely over there right now.

I'll be beefing it up over the next few days, but if any of you have any tips/tricks, send them my way!

#2:

Do you see this beautiful specimen right here? This is Stevie. If you've read my blog for any length of time, you know that I have a pretty serious Stevie-boner pretty much all the time. She's the actual best human.

What you may not know is that she's been having a bit of a rough time lately. She talks about it on her blog today, so I would also really, really love it if you would head on over to her blog and show her some love. This community never ceases to amaze me with its supportive nature, so I know this won't be any different.

She's handling everything being thrown at her right now like the poised, beautiful, wonderful woman, which isn't surprising, because like I said, she's the best. But we all need some lovin' sometimes, right? So go work your magic, bloggy friends. Thanks in advance.

Also, as it currently stands, that sweet hat will not be a part of the wedding celebrations, which is terribly unfortunate. I think it's a pretty good look.

I know, I know. I'm asking a lot of you today. I'm sending you all virtual hugs and cupcakes. (And real ones for any of you I might ever meet in real life.)

More Bloggy Thoughts + June Goals

So, the Blog Every Day challenge is over, and I'm still REALLY FREAKIN' PROUD of myself that I did it. Every single day. Being forced to blog every day is freakin' hard, man. I did not like it. BUT - I'm really glad I did it. I learned a lot about what works for me as a blogger.

First of all, intentionally planning posts is totally clutch. I know, all of you experienced people are all "Duh, Alyssa. We told you that a hundred times already." I know, I know. But I had to figure that out on my own, okay? Being intentional is key. Planning and queuing posts so they're ready to go live in the mornings is definitely the way to go.
I also figured out that I really need to listen to my instincts and not feel absolutely locked in to blogging. I'm glad I committed to this challenge and did it, but there were days where the LAST thing I wanted to do was figure out something to put on the internet. But I did it anyway. (Sometimes I'm too stubborn for my own good.) It's good to keep a consistent presence, but sometimes I just don't have time for this whole internet thing. And that's totally okay.
Conversely, I've also learned that sometimes I just have to sit down and force myself to really focus on writing. I can claim Writers Block any time that I can't think of anything to post. But once I sit down and really start to focus, I can get together some pretty good stuff. So working on being focused but not overthinking every single little thing is really the key.
Like I said, as exhausting as it was at times, I'm really glad I went for this challenge, and I'm so proud of myself that I got it done.


- Find + Install a new layout - I love mine (and Kelsey is great to work with), but now that my blog is starting to take off a bit, I'd like to get away from the premade fam.
- Go for custom domain - I'm still holding out on this because I'm not sure if I want to switch to Wordpress or not. I keep hearing about how much better it is, but, well... I'm a pansy.
- Focus more on the original goals I established when I started this blog. I make an effort to implement these in my life, but I never talk about them. And if I don't talk about them on the internet, do they really happen? Hmmmmmm.
- Finally post my thoughts about Silver Linings Playbook. This one is silly, but I seriously finished that book a month ago and haven't gotten around to talking about it. (Now I'm kinda waiting because apparently one of the Book Clubs used it this month?)
- Get in on giveaways + co-hosting more linkups.
- Create a media kit.
- BE BETTER AT RETURNING EMAILS.

So that'st that. I'm posting these goals here to hold myself accountable, so feel free to harass me about them throughout the month! I'm sure I'll need it.

Why I Started Blogging

I'm taking a break from the May challenge today to link up with Samantha and Neely to talk about why I started blogging.

And there are a few answers to this question. (We all saw that coming, right? We know I have to complicate everything.)

I've had a blog in some iteration since high school. (Xanga WHATUP?) I always enjoyed putting my thoughts out onto the internet and opening that dialogue. I love the release of writing my thoughts out, but I could never stick with a paper-and-pen journal. 

Anyway. I started blogging for real in 2009 on Tumblr because one of my good college friends started one (I've always been a follower like that) and I was curious. For a while, my blog straight up sucked. Like, it was awful. It was all pretty dresses and Glee reblogs and blurry webcam pics (this was also before I had a Mac). Gah. When I scroll through my archives now it's a constant "really? wait, REALLY? What was I THINKING?" 

But eventually, my blog started to grow. I started to make friends and find my niche. I got funny (kinda) and more people started following. Then I started meeting people in real life. I've met four people so far from Tumblr... two have been great - they're people that I consider my closest friends. One was kind of a dud.. not good or bad, but we were just so different, so nothing really grew from that. And then one.... one was a disaster. One girl is the reason that when I bring up blog friends now, Garrett gives me The Look. The look that says "this one isn't going to be a crazyperson is it? Are you sure? ARE YOU POSITIVE? I'm skeptical" 

Oh, he of little faith. Bloggers are the best. 

After 3.5 years on Tumblr, I wanted something a little bit more.. grown up. I still update my Tumblr blog because it's a place I can just throw up random funny pictures or thoughts or quips. Also, I curse like a sailor in real life and on that blog, and it's nice to have a place where I can go and complain and curse if I need to. 

But I wanted a blog I could show people. I feel like I've learned a lot in the last few years about the internet and blogging and social media in general, but when people would ask me why I knew so much, I was embarrassed to show them my Tumblr. That's kind of ridiculous, right? So lo and behold, this blog was born!

I'm forever blown away by the opportunities that blogging can provide. I mean, I can talk about mojitos with Lauren in Houston, wedding planning with Stevie in Northern Virginia, and Happy Endings with Kelley in Corpus Christi all while I sit on my own couch in North Carolina. It's SO CRAZY, right? I wish I had hopped on the Blogger train a lot sooner. I know I say it all the time, but I love it over here. It took me a while to pull the trigger, but I'm so glad I did.

A few bloggy things:

Is there a "messiest desk" competition? I would win.

Is it me, or did April just fly by? Man.

• I'm filling out my calendar for May, and I'm excited to get started!! (If you need a good printable calendar, Audrey at Oh So Lovely has some great ones!)
• I made a Facebook page for my blog, but I haven't had the guts to publish it yet. Or put anything on it. Am I cool enough for this? Hmmmm.
• I finally made a blog button. Okay, I made several because I'm so indecisive. I'm not in a place to pay for sponsorships right now (weddings are 'SPENSIVE, you guys) but is anyone interested in doing a swap? Let me know!
• I've had this blog for about two months, and I'm already thinking about a total rebranding. It would stick with my love of confetti, and I'm thinking it would be better to do it now, when I only have 30 followers, than later, when I have a real, established identity.
• People with a custom domain: I'm thinking of taking this route. Any advice? Anyone willing to talk me through the process? Do I keep all my GFC and Bloglovin' followers or do I have to start over?

Also, I just have to say: thanks for sticking around, you guys! This blog has been going through a lot of growing pains and switches since I started, and you guys are great. Seriously. I was worried about being able to make friends on here, but I've already met some of the greatest people!!! I'm so happy I started this blog.

Brief thoughts from a new-but-not-really blogger.

Like I said, I'm not new to blogging, but Blogger is a totally different world than Tumblr, and I have a lot of questions!

Like Google Friend Connect.. I see it on lots of people's blogs, but when I google it, it says it doesn't exist anymore. So what's the deal there?

What other websites do people like? I've seen that several people use Chictopia. What else do you love?

I gotta say, it's very intimidating to try to break into a new blogging scene. My Tumblr blog is very well established, and has a good-sized following. But now I'm basically a nobody. While it's weird to not know anyone, I have a fresh start, and that is a great feeling.

I should start over more often.