Thursday, August 29, 2013

Ten Reasons Garrett is Probably Going to Get Sick of Me Soon

Alternate Title One: Ten Reasons Why I Am Insufferable
Alternate Title Two: Ten Reasons I Probably Shouldn't Have Any Friends
Alternate Title Three: I swear I've Lived With Roommates Before, and They Still Like Me! (most of them, anyway.)

Now that we're finally living together, I figure it's just a matter of time before Garrett realizes he made a huge mistake.
Our apartment smells like fingernail polish pretty much all the time. No really. Even when I haven't painted them in three days.

I spill everything. No, I'm serious. Everything. And it is exhausting because the carpet in this super nice apartment is super new and super nice and I REALLY don't want to mess it up. Also guess who usually ends up cleaning up the mess?
Uh, whoops?

He lives his life constantly wondering "is this going to end up on the internet?" Spoiler: probably yes.

I call his underwear "panties" or "knickers" or "underroos (when I'm being especially hilarious)." Never boxers... or just "underwear." That would be boring. And I'm definitely not boring.

I would probably eat pasta for every single meal if I could. Because Garrett is a mature adult who wants to live a healthy life, he needs a) variety and b) something other than all carbs all the time. The fact that I am basically a child makes meal planning difficult.

I come up with a new Pinterest adventure nearly every day. Garrett is super handy, but Pinterest is an expensive habit. I'm working on it, okay?

Our bed usually looks like this by the time I'm done getting ready:

And our bathroom looks like this:
Why does one person need so many hair tools in one day?

I waste valuable DVR real estate on things like the Real Housewives of wherever and The Nightmare Nanny.

I may or may not be (but definitely am) the primary reason that we're getting cable. Garrett wants TV, but I REALLY want TV, so really, all the issues we've had with all the cable/satellite companies are because of me. Whoops.

I'm pretty sure all of these things are what make me adorable and quirky, buuuuuuut they might be all the reasons that I'm going to end up alone with eighteen cats for the rest of my life. Keep your fingers crossed for me, okay?!

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8 comments:

Chelsea said...

It's the same for Matt and I! Matt as hid my curling iron from me before because I didn't put it away and the dogs knocked it off the counter, I couldn't find it for like a week!

Sarah @ To Be Mrs. Collier said...

I love that you call his underwear "underroos". Hilarious!

Kate @ Another Clean Slate said...

You are adorable and I bet Garrett secretly loves (most of) these things about you. But good luck with the Pinterest habit- I am having the same problem with buying things from Etsy.

Brit @ Wine, Cheese, and Workout Capris said...

I love this :) And totally relate. The other day, my boyfriend Calvin says to me, "Brit, you're makeup is on the table. And your brush. And your straightener. One of your dresses has been lying on the couch for two weeks. And you ate all the Pop Tarts." Oops!

Stephanie said...

Hahahaha underroos. Love it.

Lauren said...

I'm unable to call underwear by anything normal, either. I bet guys love that.

Rachel said...

I pretty much feel the same way since I only moved in with my bf a month or 2 ago :)

Jessica said...

My bathroom also totally looks like that.. I am getting better since I made a little vanity for myself in my bedroom but barely... luckily my boyfriend doesn't mind the mess- probably because he also generates a good amount himself!

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