Thursday, August 15, 2013

How to Write a Blog Post, A Helpful Guide

Have you ever wondered what I looked like when I'm in blogger mode?

So, the last time I posted one of my helpful guides, you all seemed to really like it. I really think I changed a lot of relationships for the better that day. 

1) Decide you should actually get ahead of the game and write a post for tomorrow before, you know, it's actually tomorrow.

2) Announce to partner that you, The Blogger, are about to 

3) Check Twitter, just to see what everyone's doing.

4) Engage in a ridiculous conversation with your blog friends about the hot topic of the day.

5) Oh right, you were about to go write a post. 

6) Make sure you have established the Ideal Blogging Environment (TM). This includes: laptop, box of wine, blogging notebook, and iPhone to continue checking Twitter without leaving your blog post. Also recommended (though not entirely necessary) is a doting partner to refill your wine glass. You're busy being a Professional Blogger, after all. No time for breaks!

7) Open browser. What were you doing again? Oh, writing a blog post. That's right.

8) Realize that ummmmmm... you don't actually have anything to write about. Sit in shock for a few minutes, because your life is so interesting and all. Talking about it should be way easier.

9) Check blogging notebook. What are all these scribble lists? Were they written by an actual person? There's nothing to write about in here.

10) Oh snap, the wine's gone. Better get some more from the box.

11) The wine gets your creative juices flowing, so you finally decide on a topic.

12) Every blog post needs a good graphic, right? Open PicMonkey and go to town.

13) Realize another 30 minutes has passed, and all you have is a title and a beautifully edited picture taken by your incredibly patient fiance.

14) Have you checked Twitter lately? Better make sure you don't miss anything!!

15) Your wine glass is empty AGAIN? Fix that.

16) Pat yourself on the back for being such a great multi-tasker.

17) Oh right, you still haven't actually typed anything. Maybe you should try that now?

18) Hammer out a few paragraphs. Dang, girl. You are funny.

19) Realize that three rambly paragraphs is totally sufficient for now. Pour a glass of wine, sit back, and relax.

20) Pat yourself on the back because ZOMG, you're such a good blogger!

21) Wait until 9am the next morning and realize that you never finished that post you started yesterday.

22) Scramble to finish it so it can get max exposure.

23) Curse your own procrastination.

24) Realize it should NOT take 25 steps to write one freakin' blog post.

25) Repeat. Everyday. Because you will just NEVER learn, will you? Seriously, self. Seriously.

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Check out one of the sweetest (literally! get it?) bloggers I know, Leslie!


Jenn said...

this is actually AWESOME !
I love it !

Jenn xo

Kate @ Another Clean Slate said...

Ahhh so that is how you do it. I was wondering :)

Leslie said...

But seriously.. I really like having my posts written at night but I always end up scrambling to finish the post (usually it needs some pictures...) in the morning hahaha. Pshhh we're busy, it's fine.

Little Kate Big World said...

LOL so hard at this. this is perfection. Mostly I find myself wasting 30-45 of my actual "blogging" on pic monkey, seriously it is so time so consuming! But you do look super cute and super productive in this picture, at least that makes us bloggers look like we actually know what we're doing :)

brooke lyn said...

but for realz, there are so many distractions it takes at least 24 hours to actually write the post.

Erin said...

pretty much sums up every weeknight evening of my life

Kelly Louise said...

hahhaa so funny

Mia @ The Chronicles of Chaos said...

Yes... this, exactly.


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