Tuesday, August 13, 2013

"We could invite all our friends over!!! Oh, wait."

When Meredith and I went to see Avenue Q a few weeks ago, we were talking about how my parents should get a pool at their house. "We could have pool parties and invite all our friends over!" she said. And then we realized - our friends? uhhhh. What other friends?
Maybe it's because everything in my life is all shifty-changy lately, but I've been thinking about adult friendships a lot lately. What do they entail?

I never had that "we've been friends since we were six" BFF situation. I've always been intrigued with people who have. I have close friends, several of them. I talk about "my best friend" a lot, even though I have four or five of them. I'll say "my best friend teaches sixth grade" and then five minutes later say "oh yeah, last summer when I visited my best friend in Baltimore..." when those are two separate people. My friends all fill separate roles.. Jenna is my sit in coffee shops for hours friend. Kelsey is my lives far away so we text about nail polish all day friend. Meredith is my lets go shopping and get drinks friend.
All of these girls are people I call my best friends. But what does that mean? We easily go two weeks without talking to each other. Not on purpose, but we're all busy, and before you know it, it's been two weeks or three weeks or a month and boom! we have A LOT to discuss at coffee.

Friendships take work, you know? I mean, duh. Of course you knew that. I always knew they would. But I guess I didn't anticipate the kind of work. Kyle and I will plan a phone date three weeks in advance. A phone date! We have to PLAN a phone date. It's so weird, right? But it's really not. I mean, I know you guys are reading this and nodding along with me, because you totally have to do it too. 

And then there's the whole other weirdness of how some friends are 'talk on the phone friends' and some friends are 'gchat friends' and some friends are 'make plans via text and we'll just catch up in person' friends. I mean, Meredith and I have been friends for over ten years now, and we've never gchatted one single time, but I gchat with my blog friends nearly every day. Kelsey lives in Baltimore and we rarely talk on the phone, but Kyle (who lives in San Diego) and I talk on the phone once a month-ish. It's weird and illogical, right? Right. 

But all these people are my friends - my best friends. And at the risk of sounding TOTALLY cliche, our sporadic texting and once-a-month meetups and three hour phone dates are what has made our friendship that much stronger. And that's something I'll be forever grateful for. 

And PS - you're all invited for a pool party if my parents ever get a pool.

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Brit @ Wine, Cheese, and Workout Capris said...

Hi, we're the same person. I was just talking to one of my "best" friends the other day about how sometimes I watch shows like How I Met Your Mother and that is so not my life at all. They're all friends and they see each other all the time and I see my good friends a couple times a month if I'm lucky. So, I completely relate to what you're saying :)

Tracie Everyday said...

I am the same way! I frequently think that I am such a bad friends, but then I realize I'm just a diff type of friend with some people. Not everyone is the friend you get ready to go out in your underwear with friend.

Jessa @ Life of A Sports Wife said...

I am the same way. I absolutely LOVE this post. My husband & I were just talking about this because we move around so much so finding and becoming closer to somewhat challenging.

Jessa @ Life of A Sports Wife

Laura Maas said...

I love, love, love this post! I do not have the same best friends that I had in elementary school or high school. As I watch people I went to high school with get married, it is so cool and interesting to me that their bridesmaids were also their best friends in high school. Frankly, I felt a little sad about my lack of high school friendships...this post certainly shows me I am not alone!

I also have the different kinds of relationships with my best friends.
We're all paired off, working and traveling and it certainly is more work to stay in touch.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I don't have a best friend as in someone I am not related to my best friend is Tim (hubby) I don't have girl friends never have maybe I am strange but that is the way it is

Leelee said...

Sometimes I go weeks without talking to one of my best friends. We are just so busy doing different things in three different states. However, the distance has not affected our friendship.

Rachel said...

I'm the same way! I always say that when you can be apart for so long and then can pick right back up and things are like they never changed...that's true friendship :)

Little Kate Big World said...

Oh my gosh this is beyond perfect, I LOVE IT!! hahaha the best friend is a tier really hits the nail on the head :) you still need to come visit Stevie so we can all actually hang!!!

Stevie C said...

Yeah, i'm with Kate. come visit.

Also, I am one of those weirdos with a billion friends i've known since preschool... but you're still one of my faves ;-)


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